i always say i don’t have regrets and we all know that’s a lie. everyone has regrets. there are things in my life that i have done, words i have said, actions i should’ve done, thoughts i kept to myself i should’ve share, etc. that i regret. there are moments in my life where i act, or react, or do neither and then ask myself why i did or didn’t do that. whether it’s for five minutes or five days, it was at one point a regret. i guess i say i don’t have regrets because i don’t regret anything i’ve done because of the place that it has taken me. i don’t regret the person i am today nor do i regret the friends i have, the place i live, and the activities i surround myself with. but in the long run, i guess i do regret a few things that have taken me to be who i am today. list? let’s do it.
quitting skating. this has been brought up many times before and i just can’t help but wonder what could have been. also i regret quitting dance - not because i think i was good or that it could’ve taken me anywhere, but just because it was so much fun. plus i’m surrounded by dancers now so… it’d be kinda nice to be able to dance.
not taking enough time in high school to really consider my post-secondary options. i could be at UCSB or UC Berkeley, or a university abroad. i could have started off in the program i wanted so i wouldn’t have to transfer and have wasted a years worth of both time and tuition.
all the times i’ve made my mom feel like i’m ashamed her.
a LOT of countless purchases. my impulse buys. i’d be thousands of dollars richer if i had it all back, i swear.
asking killian to reconsider after we broke up. never again. and spending so much time crying over him. such a waste of time.
that one time i felt like my sister liked alex more than she liked me and i made a big fuss, blasted alexisonfire, and sulked all day.
never listening to my mom. if she says i should eat, i should eat. if she says i need a jacket, i probably do. lessons learned, thanks ma.
many times where i’ve over drank because a) i was too drunk to know i was drunk, b) people kept handing it to me, c) i wanted to look like i can handle a lot of alcohol.
the month of april with dylan… and the numerous times i cried, got mad at him, or made him feel bad. sorry dear.
not putting enough effort into friendships that actually mean a lot to me. ie., amanda, britt, kristin, sabrina, amanda g, …it goes on. sorry ladies, i do love you, i’m just no good with calling and making plans.
slacking off in first year university just because i hated my courses. my transcript is not looking so hot. good enough for first year, not good enough for anything else.
not getting my L / my N sooner, despite my mothers constant nagging.
never having a birthday party, except maybe 4 times in my life.
letting myself get fat in grade 10? something like that. gross.
being scared to try different clothing because everyone at home is cut from the same mold. different clothing is comfortable.
quitting swimming. i also think i would’ve been quite good at that had i kept going.
not following through with my marathon plans this year. but i swear i’ll do one by age 25.
not keeping in touch with allison, lisa, and judy from our quebec trip, despite living in the same province as 2 of them, and now the same city as one of them.
making fun of LGs - everyone grows up eventually. i am a LG and my friends treat me exactly the same as they would someone who was older… thank god.
closing my life off from my dad.