julia

i can’t believe i forgot about this but bob marley is the whole reason i first started thinking of getting a tattoo. i know his quotes are over-used and all that, but some have gotten me through rough patches. and that sounds incredibly dumb because the rough patches in my life are probably equivalent to the roughness of linoleum or something completely not rough but i’m a drama queen let’s not forget. sooo… now i’m looking up marley quotes. and beatles, bien sur.

i’m addicted to thinking and looking up tat ideas. PLUS i’ve gotten… i wouldn’t say encouragement or support from my mom, but i’ve got consent and the promise that she won’t like me any less if i got one. that’s a big step from the disownage i thought i would receive. so rib tat, here i come. if anyone has ideas, suggestions, opinions, criticisms, whatever - allll welcome, the more the better since it’s sorta for life :)

it’s been fine and i’ve been distant and things have been going well. i’ve had a number of boys and you’ve had your girls. and then you started talking about emotions. and it was okay because i ignored yours because it’s always than denying our own but then you brought mine out. or created some. i’m not sure what you did but now they’re around, floating in the abyss. and i’m not impressed because you gave me some attitude for being with alex the day after and here you are, not here. the day after. but really, who are we kidding ourselves because despite all your incredibly sentimental comments - i’d never date you. and that’s the weird part. i miss you after two days and i love being with you and you’re right when you say we’re good at “shooting shit” together. you’re right when you said we get each other and have a friendship deeper than most. and you’re also right when you said there’s a lot of me in such a small body and that’s awesome that you don’t care about my physical self but rather you feel “me” everywhere. also a little creepy, not a big deal. you cheer me up, you make me laugh, you basically brighten my day a lot of days. and maybe that’s why i can’t imagine living without you next year but hopefully it’s for the best so this shit doesn’t happen. because now i’m mad at you for being such a little tool and saying things i’m sure you mean but never intended to follow through with. even though that’s so hypocritical because here i am, doing almost the exact same thing except i don’t tell you anything. i don’t get your hopes up and i don’t tell you i like you and i don’t make it seem like you’re such a huge part of my life. so when a friend asked if i feel like i’m leading you on, no i don’t because apparently i’m getting led on. and i don’t even know why this bothers me because again, i’d never date you. okay i’m over it. you can only get led on if you allow it and it’s dunzo my friends, dunzo.

a friend just mentioned something about “exploring these emotions” so i don’t wake up in 2 years finding myself missing him. but since it’s me we’re talking about, we’re rejecting all emotions and moving on. c’est la vie, onto the hockey game we go!

i have been reading other peoples blogs aimlessly for the past … well, too long, and been at a loss because i wanted to blog but had nothing interesting to share. don’t get your hopes up, i still got nothin’ but boredom gets you doing things. anyway, so i’m sitting here, reading blogs and listening to bryan adams - just a current favourite - and my phone rings. first of all, it scared me. secondly, and more importantly, it was a long distance call from a friend that i haven’t heard from since christmas. okay, that’s not too long but i haven’t seen him since last christmas. yeah, that’s 13 months ago. and he calls me and says “hey julia. so i’m sitting here on my couch and i just realized i missed your birthday! so, happy birthday, how was it?” and i’m stunned because i was certain that when i picked up it’d be background noise and turn out to be that the phone called me on accident. but nope, it wasn’t. and it was just nice. and i was awkward - when am i not awkward? - and i hate, absolutely detest the phone, but the conversation went as smooth as it did in grade six. yeah, he’s been around since age six i’d say. some of you know him, a few of you really know him, and most of you will never even meet him. but he was one of my best friends in elementary school and it’s nice that even though people move, people change, people grow… some people keep their roots, ‘cause the strong ones never break. wow, could i be more cliche? (don’t answer that). anyway, i haven’t gotten to aaany of the work i intended to so buenos noches amigos. happy weekends, and be ready for a super excited blog post-canucks game :)

pictures : grade seven graduation & grade twelve commencement

• i have gone through all the lectures and tutorials of eeb216 buttt i’m still needing to hcore cramsesh tonight. after 3 hours of american lit. fun?
• i have to figure out what to dress these characters in. iiii don’t know… whattt you’re looking for… something like that. ugh.
• fuck, i just remembered i need to go to awards & admissions still.
• it’d be nice to get paid right about meow.
• i turn to jelly when i see CEB. that’s Cute English Boy, fyi.
• i also melt a little when i see nathan-lookalike. and he was SO close today, yet so far.
• conclusion: i’m TERRIBLE avec les garcons. pathetic.
• it is way too cold for almost february
• did i mention the jelly-turning? unhealthy
• groooowww hair, grow!
• i am checking my inboxes like it’s my job. waiting’s always the hardest. slash most annoying
• i can’t wait for next tuesday. for the i wanna puke b/c there are so many butterflies going apeshit in my stomach feeling.. yup, you know it.

in a i ripped my skirt, the rip went up towards my bum, i had an interview to go to, kind of funny. in the funny that my heart was honestly racing and i felt like i was going to scream and vomit at the same time when the cute boy in english class walked in after i truly believed he had dropped the course. is this a crush? because i feel like a FOURTEEN YEAR OLD GIRL. which is fine, i mean, whatever. twenty is close to fourteen (what the eff, i’m twenty?) aaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh. anyway and for my “interview/audition” i did the stretch once with sophia in our heels and my pencil skirt (no ripping this time) and met the new owner and that was it. shook a lady’s hand - her hand was marnie - and filled out a waiver and gave them a resume and a headshot (a huge one, by the way) and walked out. that cost me two tokens! but better than that walking with heels. i already have blisters on the balls of my feet. i suppose that’s well deserved for wearing cheap, possibly 4 year old shoes from le cheateau. anyway, so the interview/audition went well. twas nice to see april again, the wise one she is. annnd did i mention cute boy from english yet? i’m actually intimidated by him. that’s how good looking he is. then again, i used to think this about dylan too. i have different taste in les garcons. anyway so i thought i’d never be with dylan slash he’d ever take a second glance at me and that worked out. temporarily anyway. so maybe there’s hope? but this guy is a serious 10/10. so out of my league i’m not sure we’re even in the same game kind of boy. ugggghhh. why can’t i grow 2 inches, a cup size, and a nice tan. ugggghh. next tuesday! i swear!…. i’ve been saying that since jan5. lame. on a brighter note i’m going to the leafs canucks game this saturday with arden! hopefully he doesn’t take this the wrong way, i know he had a thing for me in the summer soo i don’t want any awkwardness to ensue with our hockey date. i call everything dates. bah hum bug. whaaaaaaat else has happened aujourd’hui? i ate a shit ton of gummi bears. and had cranberry juice but really wanted club soda with it. too bad. gym tomorrow, yabadabadoooo. i’m ending this shiat, i should be reading. paradise lost or alice’s adventures in wonderland…. tough call.

that sounds kind of epic, no? anyway, a lot of people (okay, like three) have been asking about new york. shortly put, it was a lot of fun and i’m tres thankful to my sister who was nice enough to put up with me for a whole 4 days. kudos and love to her =)

but what a trip be without a list of expenses?

• 1 pair white jeans, forever xxi $12.50 (i have been wanting these for a long time)
• 1 pair navy blue suspenders, american apparel $16 (also been wanting these a long time. plus, they keep the white pants up)
• 1 off white baggy racer back tank, forever xxi $13.80
• 1 pair navy blue flats w/ cream bow, forever xxi $16.80
• 3 love & beauty nail files, forever xxi $6
• 1 pair knee high socks w/ purple stripes, american apparel $10
• 1 pair sheer black pantyhose, american apparel $25 (what, really?!)
• 1 long peacoat (aren’t peacoats short?), uniqlo $80
• 5 pairs of the cutest undies ever, victoria’s secret $25
• 2 bottles of the best smelling body wash ever, victoria’s secret $5
• 2 marc by marc jacobs keychains, $10
• 1 powder blue “protect the skin you’re in” tee, marc by marc jacobs $35 (there’s a naked girl on it! but it’s okay because it’s for cancer research at nyu)
• 1 “i love you” necklace, marc by marc jacobs $16 (perhaps, i lost the receipt)
• 1 “paintcan” multiflavoured gummi bears (i.e., watermelon, strawberry, peach, blue raspberry, grape, etc.), dylan’s candy bar $16
• 1 pair classic tall chestnut uggs, $195 (and i just found the purple ones online…)

and now i’m sitting in a room of an unpacked suitcase with a lot of things to do. who would’ve thought. so excuse me from the tumblr world for maybe the rest of today and tomorrow… i want to say until after friday because i have an exam then (ya, this was news to me too) but we all know i have very little self control. on that note, alex is coming over tonight. anyway, a tad gross apres la gymnase so i’m going to shower. with the said best smelling body wash ever. but the question is… which one? ah, i really do have a tough life. oh and the Jays interview is mid afternoon demain. wish me luck as i think they’re tougher this year. a couple girls i know who tried out didn’t make it and i was positive at least 1 of them would soo this is kind of intimidating. but who am i to be intimidated, there’s no point and confidence is key. something like that anyway. peace out tumblr, it’s good to be back.