Side effects of getting into a committed relationship:

* Shit people in monogamous long-term relationships should warn you about. Note: Speaking as a girl in a hetero relationship. Cannot speak for any other types.

1. Losing the ability to open doors that aren’t extremely light. E.g. some library doors, some bank doors, the damn doors at Eaton Centre that only open a little - what is wrong with those doors?!

2. Losing the ability to carry my groceries home. More than a couple blocks? Forget about it. Want to buy a carton of milk and some yogurt when I go alone? What a joke. Plus, how could I even open the doors to my own apartment when leaving?! (See #1)

3. Losing my once really tough ability to kill all bugs - centipedes, weird unknown flying shit, and spiders included, no matter the size. Replace ability to kill with screaming at the top of my lungs and almost crying.

4. Losing the “I don’t care about touching raw meat” mentality I taught myself to develop over the years. Raw meat is gross, nobody knows what’s in it, and it’s gooey and bloody. (But once cooked, darn tootin’ delicious - seconds, please)

5. The fear of never getting my licence because, as it appears, I have suddenly gained a chauffeur type like character in my life. 3 hour car rides? I will sleep, thank you.

6. Being incapable of taking care of myself when I’m sick. As a person who got sick once a month or so as a teenager, I was pretty good at taking care of myself when I’m sick. Now? I am a weakling, and also a wee bit dramatic - but come on, how am I supposed to make soup for myself when I’m sick?! Geez. (Edit: Plus, hello, raw chicken/turkey for soup - ew, no).

7. Not wanting to go places alone. I USED TO GO AND DO EVERYTHING ALONE. Now he’s all, “I’ll walk you to class” and I’m all, “sure, whatever” out loud, and inside my head I’m actually like, “thank God because walking 15 minutes by myself to class (of all places) seems like the most boring thing ever now”

8. Having more late night snacks, even in the dead of winter. Because do I need to leave my cozy candle-lit apartment to get said snacks? Of course not. 

There’s more, but stats is staring at me like the evil little child it is. BUT THESE ARE ALL TRUE. 

  1. saving--grace said: I HATE THOSE EATON’S CENTRE DOORS. #5 as well. when I finally do get behind the wheel of a car again, it’s like, “oh yes, I CAN still do this!”
  2. neepsterdoofus reblogged this from julia-elizabeth and added:
    Let me be you for a day, Julia. PLEASE.
  3. neepsterdoofus said: OH MY GOD THIS IS INCREDIBLE. P IS PERFECT.
  4. julia-elizabeth posted this